We must first save our planet...

We must first save our planet. 

We will then be able to save ourselves...

When I read this quote I thought to myself, well, THAT MAKES SENSE!  Seriously, I'm 51 years old and can honestly say that I spent my younger years thinking that I would grow, my parents and siblings would age and time would go by and the world I lived in would stay the same.  

But it didn't occur to me until my daughters were born that this world, a planet that is getting more crowded every day, is not the same as when I was younger.  There are more landfills full of disposable diapers, plastic, styrofoam and many, many more piles of toxic trash.  There are more oil refineries and coal mines releasing fumes that choke our round ball of a home.  There are less and less rain forests and trees feeding our atmosphere with much needed oxygen.  Deserts are appearing where lakes once offered sustenance and rivers flowed freely.  These staples of our survival have become commodities that countries fight wars over, and that makes me fear for my childrens' future.

And so yes, we MUST save our planet if we want to save ourselves.  I should say, I MUST.  I must make it part of my day to waste less water, paper, electricity, gas, food and so on.  Do I really need to get on the highway and drive 75 miles an hour?  Or can I plan to leave my house a little earlier so that I can drive the speed limit?  Should I wear those jeans just once?  Or should I just wear them again so that my washer running all the time, wasting energy and water?  Will I turn off some lights when I'm home instead of every room lit up?  When I go grocery shopping, will I remember to grab the reusable bags I have under the kitchen desk?

These are some of the things I have to take the time to ponder if I want to hand over this planet to the next generation in the shape I found it in.

As my daughters grow and make their way in this world, it's really the most sensible thing I can do.  This piece I post today, in rich watercolor gouache and delicate copperplate is a visual reminder.

Thanks for looking.  Take care of yourselves.

Claire

5 Days in and Counting...

Well, it's officially been 2012 for 5 days now and I can say, so far, so good.


I've started a new routine for each new day in this brand new year.  I take a little piece of note paper and write on it the date, time, how I slept, my morning blood sugar reading and most importantly, how I FEEL.  The trick is not to stop and think, but to go by my gut and the first instinct I get and write it down fast.  It helps if I write in pen, not calligraphy (I just woke up, after all), because I'm less likely to erase it and re-think, which can lead to hours of second guessing myself.  At night, before bed, I do the same thing and see what happens.  I'm on my fourth day and it's amazing how emotional I get when I write down those initial feelings.  My guess is that once I write them down I have to feel them.  SCARY!  
The piece for this entry is a compilation of the feelings I wrote down over the last 3 days.  Don't be surprised if the words bleed a little.  As I said, writing them down can get me going and wreak havoc on the not yet dry ink.


The goal of this new routine is to recognize that I do have feelings.  Sometimes they're easy to accept and absorb, but sometimes they're not easy to face.  But face them I must if I want to grow and eventually, learn how to take control of my life, my health, my weight and my identity.  This may all seem overdramatic, and believe me, I'm the first to admit that.  However, at 50 plus years old I'm learning that there are many things over the years that I have not allowed myself to really feel and accept.  Instead I've stuffed these emotions and memories into the great black hole I call my belly, hoping that they would just stay there.  But guess what, they do come up as word vomit, uncontrolled outbursts, mini breakdowns and pain, emotional AND physical.


WOW!  That's a lot, but then again, I've got a lot of years behind me and hopefully many moons to go and so, so many feelings still floating in and around me.  


I think I'll call this the year of exploration of the celestial being I like to call, ME.


Thanks for looking,


Claire