| "The Only Paradise", sumi ink, scminke gold ink and 24 kt. Gold Leaf on manipulated photo. |
Yesterday my brother-in-law Paul would have been 43 years old. He left this world at 38, but his presence is still felt today, although I felt so guilty that I missed his day, yesterday. So after a good cry and some wallowing in guilt that I forgot his day, I picked myself up and made my way to the laptop to honor my old friend, bro and fellow MASSART sweatshirt owner.
The piece I am posting today is one that I did for my year long calligraphy class I've been taking. During a visit to the pond Paul chose as the home for his ashes on the Truro/Wellfleet line on Cape Cod I took the photo I used as the background for a quote by Scott R. Sanders, a writer who spent time on the Cape. It's not easy to reach this incredible spot. The only road that takes you there is a very narrow, very windy, very bumpy, sometimes unpaved ribbon that weaves through unspoiled woods dotted with the occasional house. There's no big sign that says, "Paul lives here" to let someone know they have arrived. There is simply a presence, a light that filters through the trees and a near perfect silence.
I think Paul liked silence. Having married my sister, Liz who is the youngest of nine, I think Paul learned to value the rare moments of silence that would happen when the array of sisters, brother, spouses, nieces, nephews, friends and neighbors would disperse, whether in Provincetown or Savin Hill where Paul and Liz lived. I remember one day when there was a particularly large crowd visiting my Mom's 2 bedroom apartment in Ptown. During these visits it was almost impossible to have more than a few minutes alone. When my daughters and I came upon Paul hiding in a front room enjoying a burrito, he looked at us and the unspoken message was clear, "you didn't see me here". We understood the precious peace that he was enjoying and moved on quietly with a chuckle and a nod.
I'd like to go back to the pond and have a chat with Paul. Much has happened in the five years since he left. I'd like to tell him that his wife is now running DOT ART, the nonprofit that was close to his heart. She also opened a gallery at 411 Commercial Street in PTown and has worked so hard to keep it going. He would be proud of her commitment, even when times are tough and support can be hard to come by. His sister has had two more beautiful daughters and his Mom showers them with love. Which means that Paul now has 19 nieces and nephews, 13 on Liz's side and 6 on his side. That's not too shabby. I'd like to tell him that two of his nephews are on Notre Dame's football team, Number 1 in the U.S. He would be so proud! Two of his nieces are also at ND, my daughter and his sister's youngest. My oldest graduated from UChicago and is living in his hometown. He has nieces and nephews at BU, Florida, UMASS Amherst, U of New England (a future pharmacist!) and Northeastern. His niece and nephews performed at Symphony Hall with The Boston Pops. I could go on, but he would chastise me for being too boastful, and though there was much to be proud of, Paul did not boast.
Perhaps I should start planning my next visit to Paul's Pond. Of course, I'll have to get my tires and shocks on my car checked. I also better be prepared to brave the elements, because it is December. But even though winter's on the horizon, I'm sure I'll be warmed by his spirit when I finally make it to his place. And I'll revel in the silence with Paul.
I hope this makes up for missing your birthday, Paul.
Thanks for looking.
Claire
