LOVE IS...

"love is..." @ 6" x  6", pigma pens, color pencil on canson white paper, 2013

As Valentines Day, 2013 comes to a close I'm finally getting a moment to post this ode to LOVE.  It's been a busy day so far, not that I'm complaining.  I got to go to see "Silver Linings Playbook" with my hubby, in the triple fancy luxe level, where the fancy folk sit and watch the film while dining in extra comfy seats (that guy knows how to show me a good time!)  What a movie!  It was amazing and hysterical, though sometimes it hit a little close to home with the bi-polar mood swing episodes.  It was real and occasionally scary, but that's part of living in love.

Living in love.  What is that, anyway?  The question led me to work and weave my way through the piece I'm posting tonight.  I wrote out the words "love is" in a loose, loopy script, then added the textures and patterns in the letters themselves.  A tangle of rocks, gems, a plaid rose, harp strings, veins and abstract patterns came together to represent the roughness, the beauty, the organic, hypnotic and neurotic nature of love in life.  Love is everything and everywhere.  It starts somewhere deep inside and reaches out and around, expanding and contracting at the same time.  Where it goes from there depends on how much love can be generated and absorbed.  Geez!  That's deep! 

I have found that in my 52 years so far I have discovered so many facets of love.  I'm lucky to have felt loved as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, an artist, friend.  And I've given a lifetime of love in return.  But somehow, still, I feel like I'm not quite complete.

To this day I have the hardest time with how to love myself.  But I'm learning a little bit every day.  I'm looking up, down, in, out and all around myself and I see something new each and every time.  Yes, sometimes it's still hard to live in love with myself.  It's so much easier to give it to my family and the rest of the world.  But I try to look at it this way; hopefully... fingers crossed... I'm only halfway through my time here on Earth, so there are still plenty of moments waiting to be created, experienced and shared.  
Yes, there's plenty of love to live, and life to love.

Happy Valentine's Night...

Thanks for looking,

Claire

Meet 2013, my new friend...

"Welcome, 2013" 6" x 6", colored pencils, paint markers, Pigma pens on Arches Vellin paper.

I've decided to try something different as I enter the new year.  It seems like a good idea to welcome 2013 as a friend and partner traveling together through life's daily adventures.  Why fight time, when it's so much more fun to just go with it.  So far so good.  2013 and I are getting along famously, though we're still working on my tardiness issue.  But as the old adage goes, better late than never, and I'm only 4 days late!

Once 12/21/12 (aka doomsday) passed armageddon free, I finally exhaled, knowing we'd be able to celebrate my daughter's 19th birthday.  Her big day was December 22nd and she was expecting a special celebration, it being the day after the end of the world, after all.  I decided the timing was right to embrace the miracle of another year with a spirit of trust, cooperation and partnership, like a good friend.  With a Merry Christmas that was relatively stress free and an awesome night of sparkling cider, games and of course, watching the ball drop on Rocking New Year's Eve, we gave 2012 a great sendoff and looked forward to my new friend, 2013's arrival.

Yes, I will happily embrace 2013 as my new friend.  We will share good times and bad times.  There will be a give and take in every day.  We will celebrate new joys and bid farewell to lost loved ones.  Sometimes 2013 will have to drag me out of bed when I don't want to face the drudgery of a cold February morning, or I'll have to get the message when 2013 wants me to slow down and just enjoy an early summer day.  I will listen when 2013 shows me that I should pay more attention to my blood sugar that seems to wreak havoc during the crazy holiday season.  And I will keep an ear out for any special bits of wisdom that 2013 has to offer.  I will try not to ask too much of 2013 and just let the days flow, knowing that when my friend, the year decides that it's time to move on, 2014 will be waiting with the promise of another great relationship. 

Wishing you and yours a year of fun, fellowship, friendship and family.  Embrace it and make it yours.  2013 can be your friend, too.

Thanks for looking,

Claire

Happy Belated Birthday, Paul

"The Only Paradise", sumi ink, scminke gold ink and 24 kt. Gold Leaf on manipulated photo.

Yesterday my brother-in-law Paul would have been 43 years old.  He left this world at 38, but his presence is still felt today, although I felt so guilty that I missed his day, yesterday.  So after a good cry and some wallowing in guilt that I forgot his day, I picked myself up and made my way to the laptop to honor my old friend, bro and fellow MASSART sweatshirt owner.

The piece I am posting today is one that I did for my year long calligraphy class I've been taking.  During a visit to the pond Paul chose as the home for his ashes on the Truro/Wellfleet line on Cape Cod I took the photo I used as the background for a quote by Scott R. Sanders, a writer who spent time on the Cape.  It's not easy to reach this incredible spot.  The only road that takes you there is a very narrow, very windy, very bumpy, sometimes unpaved ribbon that weaves through unspoiled woods dotted with the occasional house.  There's no big sign that says, "Paul lives here" to let someone know they have arrived.  There is simply a presence, a light that filters through the trees and a near perfect silence.

I think Paul liked silence. Having married my sister, Liz who is the youngest of nine, I think Paul learned to value the rare moments of silence that would happen when the array of sisters, brother, spouses, nieces, nephews, friends and neighbors would disperse, whether in Provincetown or Savin Hill where Paul and Liz lived.  I remember one day when there was a particularly large crowd visiting my Mom's 2 bedroom apartment in Ptown.  During these visits it was almost impossible to have more than a few minutes alone.  When my daughters and I came upon Paul hiding in a front room enjoying a burrito, he looked at us and the unspoken message was clear, "you didn't see me here".  We understood the precious peace that he was enjoying and moved on quietly with a chuckle and a nod.

I'd like to go back to the pond and have a chat with Paul.  Much has happened in the five years since he left.  I'd like to tell him that his wife is now running DOT ART, the nonprofit that was close to his heart.  She also opened a gallery at 411 Commercial Street in PTown and has worked so hard to keep it going.  He would be proud of her commitment, even when times are tough and support can be hard to come by.  His sister has had two more beautiful daughters and his Mom showers them with love.  Which means that Paul now has 19 nieces and nephews, 13 on Liz's side and 6 on his side.  That's not too shabby.  I'd like to tell him that two of his nephews are on Notre Dame's football team, Number 1 in the U.S.  He would be so proud!  Two of his nieces are also at ND, my daughter and his sister's youngest.  My oldest graduated from UChicago and is living in his hometown.  He has nieces and nephews at BU, Florida, UMASS Amherst, U of New England (a future pharmacist!) and Northeastern.  His niece and nephews performed at Symphony Hall with The Boston Pops.  I could go on, but he would chastise me for being too boastful, and though there was much to be proud of, Paul did not boast. 

Perhaps I should start planning my next visit to Paul's Pond.  Of course, I'll have to get my tires and shocks on my car checked.  I also better be prepared to brave the elements, because it is December.  But even though winter's on the horizon, I'm sure I'll be warmed by his spirit when I finally make it to his place.  And I'll revel in the silence with Paul.

I hope this makes up for missing your birthday, Paul.

Thanks for looking.

Claire